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THE BUZZ WITH MICHELLE STOREY

Although Katy Perry and Russell Brand cited ‘irreconcilable differences’ (that old chestnut!) as the reason for their divorce, it’s no major surprise that the tabloids will clutch at the shortest of straws to reach a more satisfying conclusion to the whole sorry affair. But this next rumour really takes the cookie. A US magazine has claimed that not only did Katy not satisfy Russell sexually, but that in fact, Russell is into quite unusual sexual fantasies! A source told the magazine; “Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her. When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after. He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular porno with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him.” Errrr, yeah well that’s one conclusion, but how about the more believable one that they spent most of their time apart working and so realised the marriage wasn’t working? Let’s give that conclusion a try shall we!

So the Sarah Harding/Theo De Vries situation is getting quite complicated, and violent also; but in true Sarah ‘gobby’ Harding style, she hasn’t become a shrinking wallflower throughout the whole charade and has hit back at the claims Theo made about her attacking him whilst on their holiday in Austria. She told a newspaper; “He grabbed me by my hair – throwing my head on the floor. We were struggling. While he had me by the hair, he was pulling me across the floor. He was dragging me around. He was smacking my head on the floor. He bit my ear. And when I kicked him to try and get him off me, I got his nose and he was bleeding. He smeared the blood all over my face so it was all over my clothes. Look at me, look what he has done to me. That doesn’t come from just holding me back. I’ve got bruises on my bum. Bruises on my legs.” Well that does sound quite nasty doesn’t it? But Sarah please let’s not air our dirty laundry in public. I’d rather keep my nose out of this domestic!

He once sang about being the One and Only but unfortunately, it seems that one hit wonder Chesney Hawkes is being replaced in favour of Chico of Chico Time fame! Just days after the Dancing On Ice line-up was revealed, Chesney has been forced to pull out due to an injury he sustained whilst training for the big show (severe ankle sprain and a fractured fibula…. Ouchies!!!) “I am gutted not to be taking part in Dancing On Ice. I was having a brilliant time and couldn’t wait to finally be skating live on national TV!” Don’t worry Chesney, I’m sure when next year rolls around, you’ll still be a resident Z-lister so no fear, you’ll be recruited for reality TV once again! Meanwhile, surprisingly humble Chico said of the news; “While I’m really excited about being part of the new series of Dancing On Ice it’s not necessarily the best of circumstances. I wish Chesney all the best and a speedy recovery.” Tenner bet’s he’ll dance to his own song! All together now…. It’s Chico time!

Peaches Geldof’s engagement last month to fiancé Thomas Cohen makes a lot of sense now, as the pair have revealed via a spokesperson that they are expecting their first baby together! They are said to be “utterly thrilled” and have revealed that they have the support of both of their families, who are equally excited for the baby’s arrival. So does this news mean that instead of stealing from Boots, Peaches will be using the five finger discount at Mothercare instead? Baby boutiques across the UK ensure you have CCTV cameras fitted immediately!

Now for some VERY exciting news! Justin Timberlake’s Nanna has announced that he and girlfriend of a bazillion years Jessica Biel are to wed! Granny Timberlake Facebooked, yes FACEBOOKED the news to an online media site and said; “He called me on Christmas Day and told me he’s engaged, but that he didn’t want her to tell anyone until after the holidays.  They don’t know if the wedding will be in Memphis or Colorado, it’s all very new they haven’t made any plans yet. Justin, his mum and dad and Jessica have all been in Montana all Christmas and New Year, that’s when he proposed. Jessica will be a lovely member of the family and she’s a very sweet girl, she’s upright and everything and we love her.” Maybe not how the couple imagined the big reveal but hey ho, word is out now. How cool is JT’s grandmother!

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